Euphrosene Labon

Tues 28: Drawing children is really difficult but at least I am in good company. Says one artist on the internet: "It´s maddening how one misplaced line can age a character ten years". I discovered that with P (though not with J or JD), seeing one of her great-grandmothers staring back at me.

I then drew another picture which bore only the vaguest resemblance, around the mouth, though it was interesting to get NandD feedback. The latest drawing is perhaps a bit better but the curve downward of the eyes is proving difficult because of the merged pixels of the (small) photo as a guide. Took time off to read a book of drawing, specifically of children.

Meanwhile a Texas mother killed and badly mutilated her tiny baby because she heard voices telling her to do so. I gather she also had postpartum depression.

The reason for including this is because it reminded me, yet again, of a rarely acknowledged reason why I chose not to have children.

With both miscarriages, I truly felt the presence of the spirit of the child - almost as if it was trying to take over my body. And it was not a baby´s energy but that of a grown male. Indeed, in both instances I felt they would be sons.

I gather this is relatively common but, presumably because I have quite heightened senses, it may have felt a trillion times worse. So although I was definitely a bit wrecked, I can´t say I was too upset at them going back to the Source. It could also be why I have kept relationships more or less at bay although it ought to be alright now!

Later: I have now ripped up all the drawings done so far of P (four and counting!), as capturing her baby features is proving really challenging - with the photo sent by her mother. I have now got an accurate outline - by using grids et al - but still the sweetness of a little child is missing in the drawing but not the photograph.

Will take five to watch the arts programme and then have another look later.

This image is by an artist called Alyson whose surname escapes me. Begins with S. I saw it in a magazine which I seem to have thrown away. Anyway, I am aiming for a cross between realism and this - which is easier with adult images but not with babies and very little people.

Euphrosene Labon Mind Body Spirit Artist Author Writer

(NB Re free e-cards, all artworks are being re-photographed and will be uploaded along with several new pieces when work on the revamped art gallery is completed in mid-August.)

Thurs 16: God knows what sank Atlantis. With England it will be the weight of concrete - concrete houses, concrete roads and the concrete brains of those in power. I don´t know whether to laugh or cry. Meanwhile, New Scientist opines that there is an artistic gene linked to psychosis and schizophrenia which also influences creativity.

Well this blog is called Delusions of Divinity? (sic) and my art does try to explain my spiritual beliefs in ways that fans of realism may query as mad.

But just as well I am not overly sensitive to criticism (although I am not indifferent to unfairness or ill-thought out comments) as the article further states:

"… Moreover, a single DNA letter mutation that affects how much of the neuregulin 1 protein is made in the brain has been linked to psychosis, poor memory and sensitivity to criticism."

Must remind the NandDs not to be so sensitive!!!

With our family history, perhaps we should all take up an art form?

Re spiritually induced madness: David Shaylor is not the first, nor will he be the last to misinterpret the en theos with being Jesus. I don´t doubt for a second that he has had a spiritual awakening - and it does seem to take the form of making us want to `share´.

Luckily for me, I never thought I was Jesus. I recognised the Christ spark within (within all of us, btw, not just us God-botherers!) but felt the need to `logicalise´ it in some way. Am still working on it. Hence the God book coming out next year.

PS How sad to see more information on Michael Jackson, appearing to prove he told the truth about his skin and other health problems. The poor guy must have felt so alone.

In spiritual metaphysics, a slight health issue would have been exacerbated by a sense of that aloneness and wanting to escape. Meaning mild vitiligo gradually getting worse till he turned white. Not being happy in his skin.

I was going to write about the skin bleaching comments in the media, wondering precisely how he could have managed his entire body.

My spots of melasma are still there despite trying all sorts of things, but they are getting a little better now with Fade Out. So, if I struggle to lighten two small patches, over a period of slightly over two years, how on earth could he have managed his entire body?

PPS What the whole Michael Jackson coverage has really brought home are the outright media lies - and not just in the tabloids. In fact, I think tabloid journalism is slightly more acceptable because it is written in a rather sensationalist style. It is the so-called quality papers that should be ashamed for making cast in stone pronouncements which, sadly, have stuck to the poor guy all his life. In death, perhaps, he may find justice.

Perhaps fans could sense the truth, which is why they stuck with him through thick and thin.

While not a conspiracy theorist, I certainly find it much more difficult to accept half the things we are told these days, including 9/11.

PPPS On a lighter note, I had 100 artworks made into mini cards at moo.com. Am most impressed. Good quality. Fast turnaround. And £14 including shipping and packaging. Shall now get some art postcards done for the (external) art gallery marketing in the autumn.

Euphrosene Labon Mind Body Spirit Artist Author Writer

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Atlantis, New Scientist, madness, David Shaylor, Jesus, God, Michael Jackson, vitiligo, melasma, conspiracy theorist

Monday 29: It’s a bad move to watch anything even vaguely disturbing before sleep. To watch something about demonic possession is usually a sign to sleep with the lights on!

Seriously though, after the STM events in the late 80s, it is not something I could dismiss. No, I was not possessed - although who knows? I certainly felt a powerful emotion for someone deeply worthless, which was driving me beyond logic - and, even worse, I was aware of that paradox. As if I knew these were scenes I had to play out.

But there was black magic, and signs that others noticed too (admittedly, those with an interest)… mostly things I do not wish to recall. That said, my spiritual beliefs do tend towards being open to receive or transmit, and that we are all part of the same Great Everything, so at any time we can pick up anything untoward if our personal frequency is low enough.

And here’s another paradox: at the time of STM, I was turning back to God big time. I had been making lots of money but there was a hole in my life… Another time. It’s a big story.

As for possession and hearing voices: my current thinking continues that they are aspects of ourselves that we should love and nourish - and then they will ‘disappear’. More like, become part of ourselves, but a lesser, distant cellular vibration. Those who ‘flip’ substantially are probably under extreme emotional trauma and tend to separate these aspects of themselves.

Bath and bed, methinks.

PS It’s a funny old world when we have disabled people yearning to get jobs, with many overcoming odds to do their bit, as well as the super marvellous paralympians. Then there are those on benefits, who make their health an excuse to stop and sponge instead of an obstacle to overcome and to discover their real inner worth. Odd, isn’t it?

Meanwhile: Not content with the shortage of bees earlier this year, scientists are now experimenting with cocaine on others. Apparently, they want to see if it will help addiction in humans. Since when was a human idiot like a bee? I feel very angry about mindless sentient testing. If they need lab rats, use those on benefits. At least it would give them an opportunity to redress the balance.

PPS While I abhor Israel’s over-forceful retaliation, how come no-one ever protests about the Palestinians with their endless guerrilla and suicide bombings? From everything I have read, the Arabs do not seem to want peace, which makes supporting them questionable. If support was withdrawn, maybe they would seek peaceful means instead of constantly baiting the Israelis - when they are not blowing them up.

Like I said, I do not condone any bombing and certainly not blanket bombing. Besides, retaliation does not work. One can hardly kill off everyone who causes us pain or discomfort. (Tempting. … Just kidding, folks!)

Euphrosene Labon Mind Body Spirit Artist Author Writer

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demonic possession, black magic, God, hearing voices, cellular vibration, extreme emotional trauma, paralympians, Israel, Palestinians