Tues 28: Drawing children is really difficult but at least I am in good company. Says one artist on the internet: "It“s maddening how one misplaced line can age a character ten years". I discovered that with P (though not with J or JD), seeing one of her great-grandmothers staring back at me.
I then drew another picture which bore only the vaguest resemblance, around the mouth, though it was interesting to get NandD feedback. The latest drawing is perhaps a bit better but the curve downward of the eyes is proving difficult because of the merged pixels of the (small) photo as a guide. Took time off to read a book of drawing, specifically of children.
Meanwhile a Texas mother killed and badly mutilated her tiny baby because she heard voices telling her to do so. I gather she also had postpartum depression.
The reason for including this is because it reminded me, yet again, of a rarely acknowledged reason why I chose not to have children.
With both miscarriages, I truly felt the presence of the spirit of the child - almost as if it was trying to take over my body. And it was not a baby“s energy but that of a grown male. Indeed, in both instances I felt they would be sons.
I gather this is relatively common but, presumably because I have quite heightened senses, it may have felt a trillion times worse. So although I was definitely a bit wrecked, I can“t say I was too upset at them going back to the Source. It could also be why I have kept relationships more or less at bay although it ought to be alright now!
Later: I have now ripped up all the drawings done so far of P (four and counting!), as capturing her baby features is proving really challenging - with the photo sent by her mother. I have now got an accurate outline - by using grids et al - but still the sweetness of a little child is missing in the drawing but not the photograph.
Will take five to watch the arts programme and then have another look later.
This image is by an artist called Alyson whose surname escapes me. Begins with S. I saw it in a magazine which I seem to have thrown away. Anyway, I am aiming for a cross between realism and this - which is easier with adult images but not with babies and very little people.
Euphrosene Labon Mind Body Spirit Artist Author Writer
(NB Re free e-cards, all artworks are being re-photographed and will be uploaded along with several new pieces when work on the revamped art gallery is completed in mid-August.)

