Friday 8: Just as well I subscribe to those useful old chestnuts of ‘every day is a new life’, and ‘never give up’. They help me get over the issue of `time´ (remember the Svami Purna quote?)
As long as I am breathing, I will never give up on my good desires although they may evolve - as indeed they should. However, the red hot belief from when I started is more like a glowing ember these days. Time stretched can cause self-doubt to root…
Horrendous start to the day as the `phone rang after I had dropped off to sleep and then I needed an alarm start as I had a meeting with the bank. Even now my eyeballs feel like they are full of lead. But it didn´t stop me having a surge of energy at 6am, trying to work out which income stream to prioritise with (ie with active prospecting). Part of that meant sifting through all the writing jobs I have pitched for since January. A lot! .. most of which are still in abeyance.
Backing up January to March and making my financial year my work start year eased a sense of failure - hence `every day…´
Yet the potential for resurrection also exists - meaning resurrected prospects. Am quietly hopeful but without my normal exuberant optimism. Perhaps it was also flattened by the photos taken of the melasma a year ago, contrasted with this week.
God knows what bleaching products others use but natural ones, so far, have actually made it darker and more widespread! This week´s mugshot was definitely worse, so I deleted both. That means if the current products work, there will be no `before´. You´ll just have to take my word for it.
Ma is in hospital but nearer. That´s my weekend gone.
Why do some good deeds always turn sour? Not for the first time all it has given me is a lingering annoyance with the people concerned, and killed the original feelgood.
There are quite a few more current annoyances and annoying people, but I am trying very hard not to give them mind room. Hence the s-m-i-l-e. And I definitely need it with Internet Explorer 7 on `crashing overtime´.
