no images were foundfor Udemy – a lengthy task taking the best part of September – served as an apt reminder to weed my own mind and re-lay some foundation goals again. Other people might enhance life but they also frequently contribute to detouring from spiritual purpose. Not that I am back to optimum state – not by a long chalk. And said ‘other people’ seem determined to create disharmony either on a local scale (neighbours’ parking, housing developers…) or on a much grander scale (best not to think of those right now!).
As part of my mind weeding, I am back to thought swapping again (replace one idea with another) …after turning down the inner emotional volume. It’s the emotions stirred which can be a complete beast to control, even with meditation. Like with V next door moving her car, like B, to a space that others could use despite having her own private area. With K, that makes them the three witches of sheer bloodymindedness!
You want instant fixes – or at least I do – even if it is spiritual indifference or a burst of unshakeable faith. I remember the times, I could meditate and there would be a result of some description in minutes or hours at most. Now, everything seems to take rather longer – as if that was the teaser and now this is the real test (of faith).
Meanwhile, the balance of harmonious people seems to be currently outweighed by the disharmonious so I fully expect there to be cataclysms that shake up the world order. (I’m talking grander rather than local scale here. I need to live here a while longer so have to figure out other ways to deal with these selfish people).
On top of that, Edwina’s house has finally been sold – but to someone who plans to rent it out. Am working on believing the best and I may be lucky and will get decent people. It really depends on whether I have further spiritual lessons to learn I expect.
The new buyer’s builders were supposed to be there last week (for 3 weeks) so I ended up racing through the videos and audios for my course on Udemy to avoid background noise of hammering and drilling. It means the quality is not as good as I would have liked but then the price is also much lower than I would have liked too. Even stevens!
There are rather too many challenges right now but I feel relatively optimistic. That’s where checking my previous notes has come in useful. Everything passes. This is just a crappy moment in time.
Even in the 90s, when there was so much to despair about, I achieved whatever it was I wanted to achieve. I sometimes wish I had stretched myself a bit more when I could. I will be able to again, hopefully soon, but it is hard not to have the occasional regret.
For now, my mind is focused on the illusory – as it is in heaven.
PS Have decided to paint for me again. Apart from Wise El cartoons and illustrations.
Art is informed by the life we lead, by our thoughts, experiences and desires. My blog posts are either streams of consciousness, wrestling with spiritual concepts or other experiences on this particular spiritual journey. For examples of how this translates into my art, please visit my gallery.
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