Euphrosene Labon

Saturday 15: Changed plans. The opportunity to cuddle one of the munchkins was too great, so loading software never happened.

Ma is still looking better, but grumping again about wanting to go home, despite being unable to stay upright for any length of time.

I mentioned how so many mentally ill people have a royalty fixation … cue for a chorus of `you said you were an Egyptian princess´ etc.

Get it right folks. It was not me but an Egyptian guide.

When I went on a Nile cruise a few years back, a guide (not ours) saw me at The Old Cataract Hotel (where they filmed Death on the Nile) and said I looked exactly like the images of Ancient Egyptians (the females!) on the cave walls.

He then `found´ me during a crowded son et lumiere and this time told me I was the reincarnation of Queen Nefertari.

If he was trying to chat me up it didn´t work, although I was prepared to be friendly and did reply to one of his several letters.

My views on reincarnation are not like others.

It´s known that I believe we are composed of spiritual particles (see my paintings). These intelligent cells, invisible to even the most powerful microscopes, can receive, transmit and store information - from many lifetimes. When we die, those particles eventually go back into the Great Everything. So even the most insignificant of us could `reincarnate´ with cellular memories of a royal life.

For the record, in my only actually recalled lives (through regression hypnosis), I was a 5-year old slave girl in the American South, a priestess in Cyprus - and a healer in Ancient Egypt. And a writer during the French Revolution.

It is true I have seen a life in Ancient Rome, dressed in royal purple, but the only thing I feel about royalty these days is that they need to be more responsible archetypes.

And that, bar the Queen, they all have appalling taste in partners.

So, sorry to disappoint people who think I am nuts. It is those with closed minds who are, in my view, mentally stymied. Fear is a kind of mental illness. Fear of change. Fear from realising that there are things we do not understand, but fearful of having a whole emotional and spiritual infrastructure removed. That is a kind of mental un-ease.

PS One of the many nicknames my father sometimes called me was … Queen Nefertari.

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royalty fixation, Egyptian guide, Nile cruise, Ancient Egyptians, reincarnation, spiritual particles, cellular memories, regression hypnosis, royalty, archetypes, mental illness

Friday 14: The Samsung is slowly giving up the ghost. The screen/cover struggles to stay upright and sound has more or less gone. So, having downloaded the Gmail plug-in for video chat, I now have to shift all onto the working laptop (a weekend task as there are LOADS of applications/software packages to upload).

And harass the NandDs and friends to do the same (use Gmail). They use Skype (which was on the Samsung) but no-one is ever on when I am, and vice versa, whereas Googlemail is a constant for me these days.

Saddo that I am, I got an enormous amount of fun talking to myself with both the inbuilt webcam and the slightly better external Logitech one. I wanted to see if I looked a total prat on video, with the idea of uploading the odd chat onto my website, if I can.

Surprisingly, and despite a propensity for pulling faces, I looked quite pretty (and that was without makeup on!!). And, when I shifted laptops, and could actually hear anything, I sounded alright too. May definitely give that a go, if it is possible.

Meanwhile…Ma really does sound and look physically healthier at the moment. Unfortunately, the mind is going in the opposite direction.

PS Thank you to my increasing reader base for not sending me horrid emails. Well, apart from the very occasional ones from loved ones (they are going to KILL me for that one!)

I get a fair-ish amount of spam. (Hello, PBVZ at hotmail! Thanks for the regular message. Please could you individualise it and then I would be happy to link. Ta.) But, so far, I have not had any trolls. I hope I would have the courage to post them though-minus any bad language.

Later: Re the computer maxing out - there are some invidious bits of software that are like cuckoos outstaying their welcome. Like Apple. I do not download music but had Quicktime and iTunes (both now removed) in order to hear something or other years ago.

Since then, the dreaded Apple Mobile and Apple Support Update have been hogging processor time and proving almost impossible to remove.

The uninstall would start and then say something about an MSI installer and re-bed itself in the bowels of the processor. And the Apple Mobile hogger would bounce back into Task Manager seconds after I pressed End Process.

I renamed the program in a sneaky bid to delete it. I tried with CCleaner too. All failures. Then I found another unhappy bunny here and learned from how he (and others) finally got the techno-incubus out of the system.

Unfortunately, Internet Explorer has (also) been a complete pain all day, constantly crashing. I thought it might have been due to the Google video-chat plug-in, so removed it as well as the webcam. But no, it is still being bloody annoying. Maybe there´s been a major bug, as there have been a lot of Microsoft updates.

All in all, not the most product day.

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Gmail plug-in, Skype, spam, trolls, Apple, Apple Mobile, Apple Support Update, Internet Explorer

Thursday 13: What actually causes a recession? We didn´t have a `credit crunch´ last time. The causes seem to differ with each one: boom and bust; high inflation, deflation, strength of sterling etc. And, unlike now, I am not sure if the rest of the world, back then, also caught an economic cold.

It´s almost as if there is an invisible limit to the flow of economic growth and when we, as a world, reach it, it then starts ebbing or backtracking in some way.

On the plus side, we (as a world) then build up the impetus for increased flow. So it has never been a permanent condition. Indeed, I am hopeful that this one will be short, although it is likely to be painful. Not that 12-18 months is `short´ when you are on the sharp end.

And I also feel sorry for whoever will form our next government. They will have an almighty financial mess to clear up as all that borrowing will have to be paid back. But darling-gordie do not care to be reminded. I cannot believe that they think the Good Fairy will suddenly bless us with magical money to clear the debts.

There are ways through though, but none will be popular. Like streamlining benefits (ie cutting them). Especially to those who have been living off them for years. Like using some of the public sector pension pot - after all, it did build up courtesy of the taxpayer. Force financial institutions to not keep putting up charges: we are hardly going to spend if any spare cash loops round just servicing debts, are we? And we do need to keep the money flowing, just not manically as in the Blair years. Although a 0% interest rate sounds a bit unsound…

Instead, our bright leaders opt for more borrowing which invariably comes with a long-running and hefty price.

Some doomsayers think there will be a Depression …which would be a pretty awful way to get people off the benefits´ culture! If the government goes bankrupt, social services will not be funding anyone. Perhaps that´s why darling-gordie want to borrow so much. They obviously know what our accounts look like.

In googling stuff on the recession, I found Paul Grignon´s Money As Debt.

It puts an interesting perspective on debt. And, spiritually, touches on the concept of maya (illusion).

In the current modus operandi, debt is necessary, it seems. Indeed, everything seems to be bought and based on a `promise´. No wonder our government panicked and bailed out those banks.

If there was a `run on the banks´ - meaning we all took out our tuppence halfpenny in `real´ money, there would not be enough to pay out to everyone what they deposited. See? Maya!

Gold and silver are not solutions, says Grignon, who does suggest solutions to completely revamp the system.

But….

Everything does pass. The good times do return. The good times are returning. (Repeat several times, three times a day for 30 days. Pause for a week. Re-affirm for a further 30 days. And so on.)

I can´t say I blame some NandDs for wanting to stay abroad - moving to the USA this time. I have already promised to re-programme my mind to visit them. That is a BIG step for me!

Perhaps I should also start applying for a visa now? Get the biometrics and inside leg measured and tone down my dry sense of humour so I don´t get kicked out once I actually do arrive.

Some good news: I wondered why my spam levels had gone down. It appears the demise of one gang has reduced levels by 70%. Mark you I still cannot understand why sometimes the processor maxes out at 100% usage. Shouting at the laptop takes me into Twilight Zone territory on a regular basis. More practically, I have to close down the browser and clear out cookies and browsing history.

PS A teensy flicker of what might have passed for envy threatened yesterday, when I saw Anne Kirkbride´s `art´.

Always being a trusting soul in the first instance, I really did think she was enormously talented. Misleading journalism rather than the gallery lying: they are photographs with a Photoshop oil or watercolour filter.

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recession, credit crunch, flow, benefits´ culture, Paul Grignon, debt, illusion, Anne Kirkbride´s `art´, Photoshop