Euphrosene Labon

Thursday 9: Thank God I have finished that awful book. The woman was absolutely barking - God rest her soul.

Yes I know that can be perceived as a derogatory statement about someone who was patently mentally unwell (an addictive personality, alcoholic, desiring assisted suicide, hearing and listening to voices, allowing them to run her life on the basis that it was her bit of god guiding her (even though her god seemed like a power-hungry human), that she was one of a small handful in the entire world with this precious task etc), but she is (sic) also a well-regarded self-help guru (cf Tom Butler-Bowdon) and best-selling author. Who did, in the end, allegedly, have an assisted suicide in 2004.

Mystical experiences can be enormously powerful motivators. The nirvanic high and light frequencies are beyond description. But then, inevitably, the flip side kicks in and light fights with dark in the infinite struggle for balance as well as growth and evolution. (There is more … another time.)

In her case, they played tricks on her and used her as a play thing. Yet did she stop? No. Her physical health started to rot along with her mental health, yet her addiction to her channeling continued. She thought she saw the light and believed that finally she was getting good guidance. Except that over and over her real guidance was her ego and an addiction to a `yes and no´ style of divination. (There is also more to write on this too - but another time.)

One overwhelming tragedy with mental health issues, is that the person involved has, in my opinion, giant ego issues, where only their truth or reality matters. They learn to manipulate people in order to live life on their terms and the projections of those ideas take on form and resonance for them. As it did for this self-help guru - who eventually could take no more, it seems.

My main concern is for all the readers who take her word as gospel and believe in `The Others´ - and a god called `Abe´ (FFS!). Or even take to tuning into other frequencies using just pendulum divination.

That does not mean I think humans are the highest evolution and above us only God. On the contrary, I feel sure there must be sentients to whom we humans are mere ants.

Ants, of course, have their function and beauty but can be killed off at any time by a fastidious human (eek, me!) or eaten by any amount of other sentients, yet their place in creation is unassailable.

However, I doubt very much that we would have daily conversations with them … "Hello Adam, this is Euphrosene, your god. Hope all is well with you… because it will not be if you and your mates don´t shift your carcasses out of my conservatory? Like, NOW."

Says Adam, "Why?" (Ants in the human role of always asking `why´…) "Well Adam, it´s for your greater good." etc etc

assisted suicide, self-help guru, mental health, addiction, divination, pendulum divination, ants, creation

Saturday 27: Traffic jams, tension aches and changed plans. Banged my manky (broken) little finger which then started bleeding. One missing Ma and a panicked nurse, but all is okay. She had not absconded!

Walked six miles to loosen up, which did the trick … till I got home. There is still a lot to do but all I feel like doing is slobbing in front of the idiot box.

Meanwhile: LinkedIn is good for faceless unknown contacts. Facebook though is for people to communicate with in a more friendly, relaxed way. I am happy to accept friend requests from people I do not know as long as they communicate from time to time. That does not mean sending endless rubbishy videos to all and sundry! It would be good to have the occasional personal `hello´.

Worse are those people I have actually met at some stage who ask to be friends and then never respond to messages or reply to any comments. So I had a small cull yesterday. Perhaps they think I am unimportant in both their world and the wider one. Probably right.

But I am important to me (well I have to be, don´t I!!!) so ultimately I have to make choices that make me feel good about myself. Being ignored is a very good signpost in making decisions.

Well done Matt Damon for speaking of his concerns about Sarah Palin. I should be more interested in American politics as they tend to ripple affect us all to a great degree, but ours are bad enough. That said, the cynicism of these political muppets is astounding.

Anti-ageism is A GOOD THING and John McCain has as much right, age-wise, as any other Yank to be POTUS. But his inability to see how his choices will affect the wider world is frightening. As is Palin´s overweening confidence in accepting the position. Does she really think she has the skills and experience to deal with big scale politics?

Tech Alert: Is the Service Pack 3 update safe to download for XP? The blogosphere and even a Microsoft TechNet site says `no´. Yet I am getting alerts to download it and I do not want a crashing laptop. What to do???

RIP Paul Newman. Someone who really seemed to add a lot to life in every way.

LinkedIn, Facebook, Matt Damon, Sarah Palin, John McCain, Service Pack 3

Tuesday 23: Confession time: I have mixed feelings about meditation. I am lucky in that I get results almost immediately, but any prolonged session usually finds me doing things that do not always make sense - like giving things away that I still use and/or enjoy. Or getting a real creative rush and working past 1am and then leaping out of bed at 6am with more ideas - like now.

Luckily for me, I don´t hear voices and even the spiritual beings of the NDE were more like amorphous essences, all blending together, yet somehow separate - and definitely with no names. That would have freaked me out. When I do these things, it feels like a part of me that is doing the directing - not some other-dimensionals or ascended masters.

When I write or paint the esoteric and spiritual stuff, once again it flows through me like part of me, yet a part that I can observe. So I have mixed views about the rafts of books with other-dimensional gurus - who have names at that. Perhaps it is a form of humility on their part. Who knows. Anyway, I remain deeply grateful for small mercies.

Four hours later: schizophrenia is such a selfish disease. Small wonder my shoulders have been tormented with pulsating aches. But every time I get to the point where compassion gives way to passing back the responsibility, the heart tugs yet again.

Between us, we have spent our lives fighting for her to have a reasonably good life but if we did not, do you really think the health agencies would bother? Add physical deterioration to mental health issues and it would be a one-way trip to the nearest nut house.

I do not believe the social worker has any idea how plausible schizophrenics can sound. (Cue the joke about the brick - `you won´t forget, will you?´) She seems so convinced that by October 1st she will be back at home, yet that was never on the cards as the other NandD doesn´t even return till then.

God alone knows what the Worthing nurse did during the assessment - probably not a lot if today´s telecon is anything to go on. And do they really think she will be any happier or healthier back there? As I told the social worker, when she used to ring in distress, as she has done, we were unable to do very much about it.

Research News: Some research I actually agree with from my own experiences - that female bosses are worse to work for than male ones. Are you reading this M? And J? And, while they are at it, what about female secretaries when you are the only other woman? Stand up K and P.

Honourable exception: Mary - a true star and hugely professional.

As far as they were concerned, I was another admin and not the top salesperson that I actually was and all my letters would get put to the bottom of the pile, even if I treated them to goodies. I was deeply thankful when we got PCs as I could then do my own letters without any further grief.

meditation, voices, ascended masters, schizophrenia, female bosses