…is not how I´d like to start a new month. But, despite being busy (double stint stewarding at the Arundel Gallery Trail), there has been a serious wave of apprehension clouding my generally good mood. Even strenuous activity, digging out the tap root of the curry plant (to move it to a more spacious area) and two hours of pruning, hasn´t quite managed to waft it away.
I´d like to be able to blame outside circumstances, like the traumatised Sri Lankan woman who had nails hammered into her by her vile Saudi `employers´. That kept me awake for a good part of the night on the 26th/27th partly because the lady reminded me of Ma.
It could also be because I am still pondering why we humans accept such arduous or troubling lives - something that has troubled a great many writers and philosophers before me too. It can´t be because it gets better in an afterlife. Well not in my belief system, because `we´ re-create (or reincarnate, if you prefer).
In some faiths, there is a need to make good. In others, it is to help others make good. My current view is that we do choose a life, almost like a game, because, at a higher level, we know we have the ability to use our power to make anything good.
The trick is to feel that same innate power once in human bondage.
Yet getting to feel that inner power, while struggling through the mundane necessities of sentient existence, is a challenge that even superior mystics never totally managed.
On the pragmatic front, I need sales and commissions to pay the bills and the pitching I am planning has to be effective. Unfortunately, I keep recalling the tremendous efforts I have put in over the years for rather a meagre payback. The only good thing is I have retained my utter confidence in my `products´. A fine delusion because it keeps me going.
Lunch and then back to gardening duties.
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Food-induced nausea has been bugging me since lunch. For some reason, I can only eat green vegetables in small quantities. Failure to follow my own rule creates a two-pronged attack, so mashed tatties for supper for me. On the plus side, it has changed the mental focus!
And it didn´t stop me finishing the back garden weeding, changing the bedclothes and washing a stack of stuff (inc me) ... as well as registering with a freelance directory (useless by the look of things), chasing an art fair for the end of Sept, and trying to find how to change the options on Sticky Notes (ie turn back on the `do you want to delete this´ prompt - couldn´t find the Registry Editor and it took ages to find Accessories too but still no success).
So my mind is back on track for work and it at least it gives me some purpose.
A synchronistic aside: reading of Wilson´s peak experience (which I believe to be rather different from a divine one), a gossip comment quotes Anton Bilson(?) opining that Ibiza gives him loads of peak experiences. Rather confirms the difference.
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Art is informed by the life we lead, by our thoughts, experiences and desires. My blog posts are either streams of consciousness, wrestling with spiritual concepts or other experiences on this particular spiritual journey. For examples of how this translates into my art, please visit my gallery. Euphrosene Labon Mind Body Spirit Artist Author Writer
…are a nifty way of speed-reading the relevant bibliography - meaning he provides enough quotes and salient points to avoid having to plough through the books myself. But I still managed to disagree with him, several times before I finished chapter three of 
The self-portrait only works if viewed at the same angle I drew it - ie the mirror was tiny, half in the dark, and the paper was flat - hence the face looking slightly longer than it is. But the doodle (aimed at testing a dip pen) was meant to be abstract shapes and curls and turned out rather differently. No doubt a psychologist would have a field day with it.
…guilt; compassion and guilt; it´s been one of those lengthy moments with the idea of guilt playing around in my mind. The, also lengthy, process of getting the right contacts for mail marketing is one excuse. Wanting to catch up with enjoyable painting and drawing is another.
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